They told me I could sing the house down; then I sang.

They said if I read up some more I will be the next big thing; then I read.

They said if only I had more panache; I mastered it.

They said if I were taller, fairer, darker, thicker etc. They thought they could define, restrain and conform me to their limited minds.…they lost me there.
Amidst who they made me to be, I couldn’t find who I set out to be.

I wanted to dance till my feet hurt, I wanted to sing and then I didn’t want to anymore.

I wanted to build castles and I was ready to work to learn how to. I wanted to light up a room when I walked in and slide in through the back on other days. I wanted to speak before Kings and have them take notes, I wanted to curl up on my bed and read myself to sleep too.

I wanted to find faith and walk in it, I wanted to fail on my own terms and find faith again.

Here I was, sitting, counting the opportunities I missed and the ones I shouldn’t have. Living backwards, defeated by the emptiness of it all.

Before I lost all of me, God reached out and illuminated my soul, gave me His word and the honour to choose my path daily as He watchfully guides me.

So, I smile today because I have the reins back in the hands of the Potter. I no longer ask, “who am I?” I just live and enjoy the beauty in the person I express day to day. Little wonder I was made by an inexhaustible God. You cannot know all of me…I don’t either, but I now enjoy the journey of living.

19:05:2017
Oluwatoyin Seth-Ogungbemi…TeeWai

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

DO IT AFRAID!!!

Image
The first time I read this phrase was in Joyce Meyer's book several years back, in fact that was what drew my attention to the book. Recently, Betty Irabor's Genevieve magazine cover page brought the words back to mind as the quote from her interview reads 'the trick is to do it afraid'. It got me thinking, and interestingly my thoughts ended up in the labour room. Everything about that day felt different as I had carried my baby to term, for me I could not wait to be relieved of the weight of my huge stomach on my small frame. No book, birth stories, accounts or advices quite captured the 30 minutes in that labour room that day. Somewhere between her head and her shoulders I went blank, I drifted into my past and saw flashes of the things I had feared, my first major exams, responsibilities I had to live up to that no one had prepared me for, the feeling of lack one to many times, first job interview, first love gone wrong, my walk down the aisle, I could go on an
Read more

An Open Letter To The Girl I Was

Image
So I got this idea off a piece I read, I thought it may just be therapeutic. So it got me thinking, if I had a chance to sit before the girl I was, what will I tell her? So I decided to write her this letter... Dear Oluwatoyin, I have many things to tell you. For starters, I am known as TeeWai this days, I bet you didn’t see that one coming. I hope you think it’s cute? Recently, on my bbm (that is a telephone device that connects me to all my valued friends), I asked if they felt you will be proud of the woman I have become, I got a lot of feedback from loved ones. Many people actually affirmed that you will be and they reminded me many reasons why. So I will gist you about a few. Let me first say that half the things you feared never happened. Plus, the society has changed, most things you held dear are now termed 'old school' . Your best dress is laughable this days or at best referred to as 'vintage' . So, back to your fears... you know how you hate
Read more

...MIRACLE...

Image
I had the privilege to visit an orphanage recently, and the experience was humbling, exciting, emotional and altogether fulfilling. I met such happy and beautiful kids. One child stood out as she touched my humanity in a way I don’t encounter every day. Her name; Miracle. She is a beautiful girl who can neither walk, talk nor hear. I noticed her gently move her shoulder to the music and I wondered if she was hopping excitedly around like the other kids in her mind. She seemed accustomed to sitting on one spot all day. Her eyes spoke a thousand words, as I sensed her acceptance of her reality. While others jumped, hugged, danced and sang, she just watched smiled slightly and mostly had a straight face. I wondered if she was used to everyone reaching out to them and waving at her from a distance. As I moved closer to her, I reached for her cheeks, and she smiled. That smile could light up a room. It brought me to tears. And no, I don’t cry that easily. I sat by her and held her hands
Read more