They told me I could sing the house down; then I sang.
They said if I read up some more I will be the next big thing; then I read.
They said if only I had more panache; I mastered it.
They said if I were taller, fairer, darker, thicker etc. They thought they could define, restrain and conform me to their limited minds.…they lost me there.
Amidst who they made me to be, I couldn’t find who I set out to be.
I wanted to dance till my feet hurt, I wanted to sing and then I didn’t want to anymore.
I wanted to build castles and I was ready to work to learn how to. I wanted to light up a room when I walked in and slide in through the back on other days. I wanted to speak before Kings and have them take notes, I wanted to curl up on my bed and read myself to sleep too.
I wanted to find faith and walk in it, I wanted to fail on my own terms and find faith again.
Here I was, sitting, counting the opportunities I missed and the ones I shouldn’t have. Living backwards, defeated by the emptiness of it all.
Before I lost all of me, God reached out and illuminated my soul, gave me His word and the honour to choose my path daily as He watchfully guides me.
So, I smile today because I have the reins back in the hands of the Potter. I no longer ask, “who am I?” I just live and enjoy the beauty in the person I express day to day. Little wonder I was made by an inexhaustible God. You cannot know all of me…I don’t either, but I now enjoy the journey of living.