I am Oluwatoyin Seth-Ogungbemi (nee Makun), you are welcome to my blog, please feel free to drop comments while you go through my page. Be inspired!

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Chip Off The Old Block

Coming soon...

Chip Off The Old Block is a suspense-filled compilation of short stories by my dad and I. It explores the intricate details of true-to-life characters;

Ajama’s deceptive look and dreamy nature are his greatest assets. Can the means at his disposal guarantee the end he desperately desires?

The enraged Apati seeks revenge at the expense of everything he holds dear. Between his passion and pain, family and fear, he undertakes mission impossible and embraces the consequence.

Michelle hoped for the best. Daring and endearing, lovely and amusing; her dreams and ideas hold true in a world that seem set on the opposite. Surviving the odds, courage is inevitable.

"Look before you leap".
What if your leap would save the day?
Mr Gaze exudes confidence, character and candor. Mastering his art was easy, playing the game was fun till love got in the way. What do you do when the need that stares you in the face also scares your soul?

Please Pre-order on Amazon today - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B072HW1VSZ?ref_=pe_2427780_160035660

Thank you for your support.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Baba Eleran aka My Meat Seller

He was a dark skinned chubby man. I had planned to pass by the day we first met, he beckoned with a pleasant smile and offered me an unbelievable discount and an assurance I will be back.

He was right, from that day he became my eleran aka meatman. This remained the case for another 3 years thereafter. He will send meat to me through my wards without taking money and leave me with the responsibility of coming to him to settle the bill at my convenience. He was proactive, invested in his trade and had a loud mouth. He always had gist. He will offer me a sit when I was heavily pregnant knowing he was going to make me bargain for a long time. The irony was how he always convinced me to buy more than I needed.
One day as I headed home from work, I couldn’t find him, I asked around and was told he was very ill. I called him and he assured me it was an ailment he could take care of in his village. He resurfaced months after, he didn’t seem much like himself anymore. I pleaded with him to get medical help but he was assured me it was the local treatment that will fix him.

About 6 months after, I had to go ask his colleague why I had not seen him for so long and he wasn’t picking my calls. He looked at me long and hard, took a deep breath and I knew what was coming.

“He is gone”, he said, “he died months ago, I thought you knew ma.” At that moment it occurred to me I never even knew his name, his first name. I felt guilt, a strange sense of loss for a total stranger who had met a need for so many years. As I walked back into my car and drove home, I cried. I can’t say why, but I couldn’t stop crying.

It got me thinking how someone who I related with for over 3 years will die before I knew his first name. About how little we know about the people we work with, call friends, even family. How death somehow gets us to want to know them for the first time…only it’s usually too late.

I miss my meat seller. I pray he is resting from all that pain he was in.

Monday, June 12, 2017

They told me I could sing the house down; then I sang.

They said if I read up some more I will be the next big thing; then I read.

They said if only I had more panache; I mastered it.

They said if I were taller, fairer, darker, thicker etc. They thought they could define, restrain and conform me to their limited minds.…they lost me there.
Amidst who they made me to be, I couldn’t find who I set out to be.

I wanted to dance till my feet hurt, I wanted to sing and then I didn’t want to anymore.

I wanted to build castles and I was ready to work to learn how to. I wanted to light up a room when I walked in and slide in through the back on other days. I wanted to speak before Kings and have them take notes, I wanted to curl up on my bed and read myself to sleep too.

I wanted to find faith and walk in it, I wanted to fail on my own terms and find faith again.

Here I was, sitting, counting the opportunities I missed and the ones I shouldn’t have. Living backwards, defeated by the emptiness of it all.

Before I lost all of me, God reached out and illuminated my soul, gave me His word and the honour to choose my path daily as He watchfully guides me.

So, I smile today because I have the reins back in the hands of the Potter. I no longer ask, “who am I?” I just live and enjoy the beauty in the person I express day to day. Little wonder I was made by an inexhaustible God. You cannot know all of me…I don’t either, but I now enjoy the journey of living.

Oluwatoyin Seth-Ogungbemi…TeeWai

Friday, May 19, 2017


On my mind today are the things we cover, the things we protect, the things we defend. They could be habits; those habits we cannot allow ourselves admit we have and the good clothes and poise hide on the outside. They could be abuse, emotionally, verbally or physically. They could be symptoms that can graduate into sicknesses or diseases. They could be mental imbalances that require professional support to manage and you consistently tell yourself is unreal and convince yourself you are thinking it up.

My God! We hide too much in Nigeria. Its like one is sworn to some form of secrecy from childhood that makes you silent when a trusted uncle fondles your private part, the kind of silence that makes you a slave to your habits yet no one must know you even imagined the habit to start with. The kind of silence that makes people move from mood swings to full blown depression and they cannot help themselves. The kind of silence that makes a man suicidal because he is wailing inside but society taught him to be a man you have to put up a bold face and swallow the pain. The same silence that makes a mother unable to mention the word "sex" to her child, yet the child heard that word before she was 6!

The world is changing, the silence method is no longer working, it never really did!

Dear parent, don't wish away the habits of your children, or defend their lapses that remind you of your own mistakes. Do not hide in shame when your baby is abused, seek help and allow them express what they feel. Talk to your boys and girls about sex before the world does, prepare them for what their bodies will eventually feel. Please PARENT don't just provide!!!

Dear Preacher, if the things you never walked through before you answered your call are beginning to haunt you or you are beginning to desire the things you preach against; find someone to be accountable to. Don't allow the showmanship of being infallible that you keep up for followers make you self destruct. Please face reality...which is, you are human!!!

Dear young girl/boy, its okay to hurt, cry, to feel, to question your sexuality, to seek answers. I am sorry that life has scarred you, I am sorry that those who represented stability to you birthed your instability. I cant undo that,but that's not the end. Do not lose faith in humanity and spend your youth rebelling, find someone to talk to. You are still beautiful and handsome. You were made for more and you can heal.

Dear man/woman, its not okay to verbally abuse and destroy one another with words not befitting to even an enemy. Its not okay to use silence to break your partner, its not okay to slap, hit or scar each other. It is not true that every third party is evil. Find a healthy third party as it is better to find someone who can help you walk through the issues and begin the process of healing than to put up deceptive happy pictures and die in silence!

Prayer helps, yes i know, i have experienced its power. However, not everyone understands how that works and they should not be dismissed because they don't. Take off the lid and empty the contents. Seek help, talk, talk, talk, find someone to be accountable to and realize that someone too is human.

TeeWai Writes - 15:05:2017

Wednesday, August 31, 2016


Completely exhausted she looks through her itinerary for the next day, dreading sleep as the sound of her alarm in the morning reminds her how little she had to sleep and how another day beckons with its needs, demands, choices, challenges and gifts. She wonders why life seems so fast lately and conversations seem so empty. She looks through her phone, scanning the chit chats, gossip, sensual jokes, political comments and internet feuds. Hissing at the emptiness of it all, postponing her replies to her best friend she drags her duvet over her tired body and curls up in her usual style in an attempt to find sleep. The soft tune of her favourite ring tone, jolts her back to reality as she reaches for the phone and reluctantly picks the call; wondering who will call her at this time with an unfamiliar number.

Hello, who is this please? Its Gina a pleasant and familiar voice replies at the other end of the call. Scanning her head, she recalls it’s her childhood friend whose number she has since misplaced and a smile replaces the irritated look she initially had.

Gina what’s up? Am fine, she replies excitedly.

You have been on my mind dear, so I thought to call. How are you? Hearing those words makes her begin to cry and she cannot seem to hold back the tears hard as she is trying to.

Did I say something wrong? Gina asks a little taken aback.

No Gina, you said everything right. Thanks for asking me that, no one ever does lately. They either tell me what to do, what am not doing or what I can do better. And the conversation goes on for another hour. Sleep finds her with a smile on her face that night.

The world is so full of pain, hate, anger, and agitations lately. Everyone is talking, lashing out on the other person because they somehow feel they are better off, know better or have made better choices. We would spend the most time seeing everything wrong with people and put up pictures and touching tributes at the announcement of death. The irony isn’t lost on me, and I thought to remind us to ask someone today how they are doing and really, truly care enough to listen. We need each other, because in the end no matter the many things that differentiates us, we all are human and have similar needs. Someone can choose life over suicide because you noticed, another can take that chance because you challenged, someone can heal because you felt their pain, love can be born today because you stopped longing and started speaking…..Please ask today!

TeeWai Writes

Thursday, August 11, 2016


Totally glad to have my daddy back from his trip, I sit on his leg eagerly waiting for my goodies. He opens his bag and brings out a pack of my favourite snacks. Excitedly, I grab the gift bag and rush off to my best spot in the house to enjoy my spoils. As I unwrap the first snack, reaching for my first bite mummy rushes towards me and grabs it out of my hands. Unfair! She doesn’t say a word for a while and I wonder what I had done this time as she looks at me anticipating something. My room must be scattered again, I thought to myself. Seeing as I was still silent, she sighs and speaks up, T girl, what do you say to Daddy? Then the realisation hit my small head, here we going again! I had been trying to master this routine to no avail. Trying to stay straight faced, I quickly say, sorry mum. Rushing into daddy’s arms, I scream ‘thank you daddy’.

I marvel at how we all teach this and were taught but our reality is farfetched as we grow older. We complain more than we acknowledge the good in our lives. It appears, contentment is for the weak and happiness eludes us in our pursuit for more and more. Why we so easily critic but grudgingly acknowledge and value the things that go great no matter how small. Why parents expect a compliment but don’t give same to a child who has earned it. Why God is blamed and denounced for all the ills in the world; yet while in pain we pine to him for strength. Why we will love to be given yet conclude we don’t have enough to give in return.

Take time to zoom on the things that have gone better than you wished for. Pay forward the kind deed you got yet didn’t earn. Laugh because you can. Forgive so you can smile again. There are so many ‘thank yous’ waiting to be delivered in this world. Release your share from the waiting room and give someone a reason to be happy today.

Now that I have taken time to write this, what do you say…….???

TeeWai Writes,

Monday, June 27, 2016


I had the privilege to visit an orphanage recently, and the experience was humbling, exciting, emotional and altogether fulfilling. I met such happy and beautiful kids. One child stood out as she touched my humanity in a way I don’t encounter every day. Her name; Miracle.

She is a beautiful girl who can neither walk, talk nor hear. I noticed her gently move her shoulder to the music and I wondered if she was hopping excitedly around like the other kids in her mind. She seemed accustomed to sitting on one spot all day. Her eyes spoke a thousand words, as I sensed her acceptance of her reality. While others jumped, hugged, danced and sang, she just watched smiled slightly and mostly had a straight face. I wondered if she was used to everyone reaching out to them and waving at her from a distance. As I moved closer to her, I reached for her cheeks, and she smiled. That smile could light up a room. It brought me to tears. And no, I don’t cry that easily. I sat by her and held her hands as we played a silent ‘pick a hand’ game. When it was time to leave, I had a group hug with the others and then I approached her and before I could, she lifted her arms as far as she could to initiate her goodbye hug and I gave her an embrace. I wished I could imprint in her heart with that hug that she was beautiful, loved and perfect in Gods eyes. I thank God for the opportunity.

Miracle reminded me love is louder in actions than spoken words. We spoke so much without a word. I left that home feeling like she spoke to me, like she was saying; Ty, you have ears that hear, a mouth that can speak and legs that can walk; so you have no excuse not to be all that you can be. So I am reminded to say ‘I love you’ in words and in deeds to those who mean the world to me, because the fact that I can say it, is a miracle. I could choose to dwell on the things that aren’t going right or make the best of what is and work hard and aspire for much more. The fact that I have life is a miracle. Love is a language that the blind can see and the deaf can hear. Show some love today, because you can, because life is miracle.

To the ones who envision and build these homes, nurture the orphaned and abandoned, give their time, money and life to putting a smile on their faces, you are super heroes. God will honour you exceedingly.


Friday, October 30, 2015


ME: God, I have a few things I need to speak to you about. Lately, you just feel so far. Allowing me go through so much on my own.
GOD: hmmmmmm
ME: My life is crazy, I look in the mirror and all I see are pieces of me, like a tale told by different narrators. I feel torn apart. And you say hmmmmm?
GOD: What will you rather I said?
ME: That I will be fine! That you will fix me! That I am worth more than I feel! That my life will count…..you feel me?
GOD: Feel you? I made you! I have said all those to you already and much more. When last did you take a look at my words to you? My attempt to remind you is silenced by your self-doubt and the falsehood of what you call reality. I foresaw your pain and I made provision in advance.
ME: Why is it so hard then?
GOD: Well that’s because that’s all you are looking at, so that’s all you can see.
ME: easy for you to say, am the one who feels the shame, fear, guilt, hurt and emptiness. You just stay there being almighty and perfect.
GOD: I am the touch of perfection you need to cover the shame, silence the fears, absolve the guilt, heal the hurt and refill you…. To tell you the truth, when I look at you, I see something perfect, I wish you could see you through my eyes…..if only you would.
ME: Hmmmm. I really want to believe all you are saying, but I feel trapped…somewhere between Calvary and Pentecost…..like I know so much, yet it amounts to nothing.
GOD: I know that feeling. Revival beckons my child…..

Tuesday, November 18, 2014


I was told to ride on a bicycle, I needed to be guided, yet there was no one to teach me. I was told even the best riders had to fall and be injured many times to perfect the art. Every day I stood before it, walked by it, dragged along on it, picturing myself riding it but too afraid to suspend my feet and dare to truly ride……Plus it wasn’t even my bike!

I will sleep off many nights and dream of cycling with friends. Days passed….and one of those days I took the bicycle; today was different, my visit was going to be over by the next two days and I was yet to ride the first bicycle I had close access to. Full of thoughts and mixed feelings, it occurred to me I had just ridden on it for 30 seconds without realising and the moment I realised, the fears came flooding in and then I fell, it was a bad fall with a good lesson. The very next day, I had a choice to never ride again for fear of falling again, or ride till I never fell again…..I chose the latter and I never fell again.

What if they laugh at me? What if he breaks my heart? I am not brilliant, assuming I fail? What if she falls,what if he is hurt? If I were rich I will have helped the needy, If only I were taller I’ll have made a great model. If I were shorter I will have found the right man. If I were less busy I will serve God more. I can’t wear that pretty outfit I will be too noticeable. We cannot win; we are outnumbered. We have done this before it will likely fail again. If I were richer or born with a silver spoon.If I had been raised properly. If only I could dance, sing, talk confidently. I am afraid I will be unable to do it, I am an introvert, she is rich I can’t be with a girl like her. He is so good looking, what if he doesn’t want a girl like me?

The list is endless, that inner voice that screams ‘you cannot’, ‘what ifs’, ‘you shouldn’t’, ‘you are not fit’,‘not good enough’, ‘not groomed enough’, ‘not rich enough’ and the voices around that confirm the very things we dread. If asked we’d say ‘I am not afraid, I am only cautious or simply a realist….. In the end fear is what it is…..FEAR.

We all express it through the toughest means and at other times in the mildest moments. Whether in panic/fright,traditions/rituals, pessimism/suspicion, anxiety/worry, comfort/security,criticism/blame, concern/trepidation, cautiousness/restraint,excuses/justifications, dismay/depression…

They often say life I short, I dare say it is shorter than short! The many facets of fear shorten the days and double the concerns. To live is to dare death that in itself is courage! To live is to do the very things that the dead cannot do. To live is to go past dreaming and live the dreams. To live is to fear-LESS, because in the end we are very small, vulnerable, and weak but we have a God who is bigger than we picture, stronger than we imagine, more involved in our existence than we allow ourselves to believe and He is the one who has given the power to BE! So I will be what He says I’d be!

By the way, I eventually got my own bicycle and along with it the realisation that there was no such thing as……IMPOSSIBLE with God!

Toyin Seth-Ogungbe'

Thursday, April 3, 2014

An Open Letter To The Girl I Was

So I got this idea off a piece I read, I thought it may just be therapeutic. So it got me thinking, if I had a chance to sit before the girl I was, what will I tell her? So I decided to write her this letter...

Dear Oluwatoyin,
I have many things to tell you. For starters, I am known as TeeWai this days, I bet you didn’t see that one coming. I hope you think it’s cute?

Recently, on my bbm (that is a telephone device that connects me to all my valued friends), I asked if they felt you will be proud of the woman I have become, I got a lot of feedback from loved ones. Many people actually affirmed that you will be and they reminded me many reasons why. So I will gist you about a few.

Let me first say that half the things you feared never happened. Plus, the society has changed, most things you held dear are now termed 'old school'. Your best dress is laughable this days or at best referred to as 'vintage'. So, back to your fears... you know how you hate heights, always felt like you will slip down or fall off? Well, I look down heights confidently this days and have lost that fear or the most of it at least. In many other ways I must admit, I am not half as bold and confident as you were on many other issues. I still have a big mouth though…me and my big mouth!

The things that will surprise you; I don't sing like really sing anymore, I wouldn't even let anyone sitting beside me hear my voice. I am sorry, I know how much that meant to you and how much you planned to ensure the world heard your message through music. You can be rest assured I haven't lost the passion for listening to good music though. I discovered writing, it became my escape, my passion, my therapy and that too these days I rarely do. Don't feel bad just yet, I found some other things you never thought you were capable of. An example; drama. I use all the tools you developed performing for a one man audience (plus all your imaginary characters included...lol). Also, I got married earlier than you envisaged. I have a little you, only she is prettier (I know you’ll smile). When I look at her, I see your eyes, your wit, compassion and trust in the world around you, tomboyish tendencies...she has them all plus 'jara'.

Habits that have not changed; I can arrange for the globe! Don’t get me started on how I see things to organize and place properly everywhere I turn. Of course I still make faces in front of the mirror. Craving parboiled rice is still a norm, I just stop myself from eating it. I still hate fish just as you do, but I have greatly improved on feeding (still slim o! laughs)

Honestly, I have failed you more times than I'll have loved to, but I have also made you proud, done things you feared...I did them afraid. Having been through the toughest situations that I know you never could have imagined, I am still standing. The details are gist for another day.

My faith; that too I stumble, walk, crawl, run, crawl, I make sure not to stop trusting and believing in the God who makes this crazy world make sense to me. I know you were never a fan of fairy tales, same here! But I manage to walk people around me through the realistic happy endings.

My resolve; some of those dreams you had I am yet to live up to. Please give me time, I intend to at least make an effort. Also to remember to take care of me, be mindful of you, knowing that I owe it to us to die empty having done all possible to make a difference. I intend to set in motion a chain of change, change that will outlive you and I. Lastly and very importantly, I love you, I should say that more often.

From the woman you have become.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The Sanity in Folly

There used to be a time when I will get into frantic arguments choosing to see the light at the end of the tunnel, other times I sought and created justification for the mindless corruption that we wallow in. Other times I cry, in my heart at least and pray for change as farfetched as it appears. I have gone past weeping; because I have my realities staring me in the face after I wipe the tears.
The pain is not new, it’s just all too familiar and never goes away, that used to unnerve me; these days I am just numb. I read the headlines and ignore the content because it is yet another celebration of corruption or an open show of man’s inhumanity to man.

How can optimal electricity, education, health, mean so little and mindless feuds and ambition for more power in the midst of power for a time that you are yet to ascertain you will live to see mean more? How can any one person have the power to make change and choose the cowardice of chasing shadows and running in circles over actually getting the job done? How can we fix the problem when the decadence is perpetuated by all who hold even a second of power from the least to the greatest? How can one man wake up at 4am to earn a meagre income he spends on going to the same job where it is earned while another sits on so much wealth with influence and is untouched by the labourer and his labour feigning ignorance?

The places of worship used to be the place we got a sense of belonging and touched a glimpse of peace. Nowadays men of God represent different things to different people. Many flee and never look back; seeking answers beyond the border believing enslavement in a foreign land is far more honourable than slavery in one’s home. I don't dare judge as there is not much to come back to.

In all of this I realise I may choose to be different and may never get awarded or even noticed, yet I consciously make that choice every day. Why? You may ask. Pretty simple, I desire to remind those to come that in all the choking filth and debauchery that I carved a niche for myself; I chose the path of hard work and reward and every luxury I have, I earned. I want them to know I had no magic wand to wish it all away; I refused to be a part of the problem either. Neither shortening my life span worrying about the things I have no power to change. Instead, I recognise the sovereignty of the one thing that reveals our humanity; the uncertainty of tomorrow. So I wine and dine with God who sits over and knows it all. There! At that very point I finally feel it, the peace in the chaos, and the sanity in folly.....yes closure.

Toyin Seth-Ogungbemi(nee Makun)

Tuesday, February 26, 2013


The first time I read this phrase was in Joyce Meyer's book several years back, in fact that was what drew my attention to the book. Recently, Betty Irabor's Genevieve magazine cover page brought the words back to mind as the quote from her interview reads 'the trick is to do it afraid'. It got me thinking, and interestingly my thoughts ended up in the labour room. Everything about that day felt different as I had carried my baby to term, for me I could not wait to be relieved of the weight of my huge stomach on my small frame.
No book, birth stories, accounts or advices quite captured the 30 minutes in that labour room that day. Somewhere between her head and her shoulders I went blank, I drifted into my past and saw flashes of the things I had feared, my first major exams, responsibilities I had to live up to that no one had prepared me for, the feeling of lack one to many times, first job interview, first love gone wrong, my walk down the aisle, I could go on and on. then it dawned on me as my dear man tapped me to bring me back to reality, that I was afraid, very afraid to see this through, be there for her, raise a sane child amidst the insanity, teach her faith, be her model of everything that is right with the world. With very little strength left, so little I feared I may not pull through, a very parched throat, the mixed feelings on the face of husband dearest, the aches on my body in more places than I cared to count; I pushed, so hard I could not believe I had it in me, and that was it!
I saw her upside down at first, next I heard her cry and as she was placed in my arms, I felt like God himself handed me a gold medal, so heroic was the feeling I had that day! Many months later, I look back and I realise it was just another phase I had gone through and the fear along with it. So, my honest little piece is this, God gives us faith to quench every fear. Regardless, we get scared many times and we find we just can't shake it off. The simple secret is to 'do it afraid'. It's either going to work or not, but you'll never know if you choose not to try at all. Plus, faith in itself is going through with the things that scare us knowing someone bigger, divinely infinite has our back and will pick us up where our humanity falls short.
So I have this one life, rather than let fear cripple my every venture while still at the birthing stage, I will go right ahead and see it through, if it feels like the right thing to do. For instance, I have had this write up in my head for 25 days and I wondered, what if it's not well received? I am clicking publish on this one today for as many as are interested to see, read and no matter the reception, I am glad I wrote it anyway. So I dare say, DO IT AFRAID! Please share your 'Do it afraid' stories, you never know who it might make a difference to. Thanks

26 February, 2013.

Monday, July 2, 2012

An Open Letter To My Father

So much has happened recently and I found myself in a place I have not been in a long time; short of words and almost blank. Time and time again I tried to write out my pain, but I couldn’t find the right words. Then I saw this movie “Letters to God” and then it dawned on me what I could do to feel better. So here is my open letter to my Father, the one who sees the finish from the onset.

Dear Pa, It’s crazy around me, and sometimes I wonder how I don’t lose my mind. Yea that must be because of the awesome family you gave me and the way the world looks right through the eyes of my baby.
So much tragedy befell my nation and lives, too many have been lost, between the sect who kill for a living, the road accident, the ill-fated plane and the innocent people whose homes were run into by the plane. I can’t stop thinking about the confusion and fear that must have gone on in the plane the last few seconds before the crash, how many were asleep in their homes and they became history in a split second. Or the innocent people who dressed for their place of worship as is their custom every Sunday, unaware it will be their last as they will die painful deaths for a fight they are totally clueless of. How many have been orphaned this year, widowed, left childless. Where do we go from here Pa, where? I am a taxpayer, I pay a ridiculous amount as rent, yet I virtually swim to work (exaggeration) becuse the roads are flooded from the rains, and the water has found its way to the many potholes, that can fit in over a hundred pots. Then yet another greets me as I approach my workplace. Where do we go from here Pa?
Crazy huh? Children are abused everyday and there is no one to fight their cause. Family hush them so they won’t be mocked, the kids suffer in silence and grow up scarred adults most often reliving their ordeal by abusing another. Parents too busy chasing dreams to notice the hurt and scars on their babies. Government too busy…… (fill in the gap) to notice where the shoe really hurts its people. The pulpit has traded the truth of your word for the vanities of life to gain popularity. Things we used to know are as sane are now treated as insane. Borrowed culture is taking over our mode of speech, style, and traditional values.
Children, the future we hope in are totally oblivious of the values that brought us this far. It appears there is no one to remind us and the next generation of how it used to be, better still, how it was meant to be. A wise man told me never to lose hope, no matter what else I have lost. So I put together whatever hope I have left in the fact that you are the potter, and you won’t let your people go through more than they can bear. It’s too much, the insanity is everywhere, and we perpetuate it without even realizing. Again I ask where we go from here?
Thanks for being at the listening end, thank you.

Thursday, May 10, 2012


I can’t say for certain if she knew what was at stake, if she had taken time to think her action through. all i recall is she smiled and the smile lit up her face. She screamed so loud i could barely hear myself speak and before I could say another word to shut her up or calm her down. She did it, taken aback and a little scared i ran as fast as i could just so I could get a hold of her arms. Could not help noticing the smile did not leave her face, I was shaken up, a little sore in my feet, quite unlike my cute one year old. She was beaming with the spark of victory in her eyes. She had taken a leap from the high bed into mummy's arms and she was oblivious of the fact that mummy nearly missed catching her. But her faith in me was blind to reason, she’s a one year old, what do you expect? Managing to smile back; even though still shaken by the fear that went through my mind. Could not stop wondering in my heart, "what if I had missed her? It got me thinking, my master knew what He was saying, when He said the kingdom was for such as the children. I wake up every day trying to fix things beyond me, worry about unfulfilled dreams, unaccomplished goals, frustrated when I don’t measure up to the standard.... who sets the standards anyway? Several times I have heard the lines 'let go and let God', I have even spoken them out to encourage others, I sing 'Jesus take the wheels' and I claim to cast my cares on him. So I woke up one morning and I remembered the leap of my one year old daughter, the honesty, trust and fearlessness it came with, and I realised, even in my humanity, I did not dare fail her. How much more... It’s practically tough at first, but which each day it gets easier, I leap on his back to carry me when am weak, his word to silence the voices of fear in my head, his arms to help me find rest in the chaotic reality of my society. Now when i smile it reaches my eyes, not because everything is as I want it to be, but because i have learnt gratitude for the things that are and I am more convinced than ever that ALL(good, bad, ugly) things, every lil, tiny detail will work together for my good. Let’s go a-leaping!

10TH MAY, 2012

Thursday, February 16, 2012


Sometimes i find myself staring at an open page for hours, joggling the words in my head and dreading the critical eyes and minds of my readers.
So i take my eyes off the page and go about the day's activities, silencing the words as the play out in my head.
At the close of the day, i realise i cant fool myself. For I had carried my blank page in my head all day long.
So i find that no matter how far from it i go, i keep coming back to my open page.
Feels like i was born to do this.
So i write, the fears not withstanding.
Like an addict, I just can't stay away.