I am Oluwatoyin Seth-Ogungbemi (nee Makun), you are welcome to my blog, please feel free to drop comments while you go through my page. Be inspired!

Wednesday, August 31, 2016


Completely exhausted she looks through her itinerary for the next day, dreading sleep as the sound of her alarm in the morning reminds her how little she had to sleep and how another day beckons with its needs, demands, choices, challenges and gifts. She wonders why life seems so fast lately and conversations seem so empty. She looks through her phone, scanning the chit chats, gossip, sensual jokes, political comments and internet feuds. Hissing at the emptiness of it all, postponing her replies to her best friend she drags her duvet over her tired body and curls up in her usual style in an attempt to find sleep. The soft tune of her favourite ring tone, jolts her back to reality as she reaches for the phone and reluctantly picks the call; wondering who will call her at this time with an unfamiliar number.

Hello, who is this please? Its Gina a pleasant and familiar voice replies at the other end of the call. Scanning her head, she recalls it’s her childhood friend whose number she has since misplaced and a smile replaces the irritated look she initially had.

Gina what’s up? Am fine, she replies excitedly.

You have been on my mind dear, so I thought to call. How are you? Hearing those words makes her begin to cry and she cannot seem to hold back the tears hard as she is trying to.

Did I say something wrong? Gina asks a little taken aback.

No Gina, you said everything right. Thanks for asking me that, no one ever does lately. They either tell me what to do, what am not doing or what I can do better. And the conversation goes on for another hour. Sleep finds her with a smile on her face that night.

The world is so full of pain, hate, anger, and agitations lately. Everyone is talking, lashing out on the other person because they somehow feel they are better off, know better or have made better choices. We would spend the most time seeing everything wrong with people and put up pictures and touching tributes at the announcement of death. The irony isn’t lost on me, and I thought to remind us to ask someone today how they are doing and really, truly care enough to listen. We need each other, because in the end no matter the many things that differentiates us, we all are human and have similar needs. Someone can choose life over suicide because you noticed, another can take that chance because you challenged, someone can heal because you felt their pain, love can be born today because you stopped longing and started speaking…..Please ask today!

TeeWai Writes

Thursday, August 11, 2016


Totally glad to have my daddy back from his trip, I sit on his leg eagerly waiting for my goodies. He opens his bag and brings out a pack of my favourite snacks. Excitedly, I grab the gift bag and rush off to my best spot in the house to enjoy my spoils. As I unwrap the first snack, reaching for my first bite mummy rushes towards me and grabs it out of my hands. Unfair! She doesn’t say a word for a while and I wonder what I had done this time as she looks at me anticipating something. My room must be scattered again, I thought to myself. Seeing as I was still silent, she sighs and speaks up, T girl, what do you say to Daddy? Then the realisation hit my small head, here we going again! I had been trying to master this routine to no avail. Trying to stay straight faced, I quickly say, sorry mum. Rushing into daddy’s arms, I scream ‘thank you daddy’.

I marvel at how we all teach this and were taught but our reality is farfetched as we grow older. We complain more than we acknowledge the good in our lives. It appears, contentment is for the weak and happiness eludes us in our pursuit for more and more. Why we so easily critic but grudgingly acknowledge and value the things that go great no matter how small. Why parents expect a compliment but don’t give same to a child who has earned it. Why God is blamed and denounced for all the ills in the world; yet while in pain we pine to him for strength. Why we will love to be given yet conclude we don’t have enough to give in return.

Take time to zoom on the things that have gone better than you wished for. Pay forward the kind deed you got yet didn’t earn. Laugh because you can. Forgive so you can smile again. There are so many ‘thank yous’ waiting to be delivered in this world. Release your share from the waiting room and give someone a reason to be happy today.

Now that I have taken time to write this, what do you say…….???

TeeWai Writes,

Monday, June 27, 2016


I had the privilege to visit an orphanage recently, and the experience was humbling, exciting, emotional and altogether fulfilling. I met such happy and beautiful kids. One child stood out as she touched my humanity in a way I don’t encounter every day. Her name; Miracle.

She is a beautiful girl who can neither walk, talk nor hear. I noticed her gently move her shoulder to the music and I wondered if she was hopping excitedly around like the other kids in her mind. She seemed accustomed to sitting on one spot all day. Her eyes spoke a thousand words, as I sensed her acceptance of her reality. While others jumped, hugged, danced and sang, she just watched smiled slightly and mostly had a straight face. I wondered if she was used to everyone reaching out to them and waving at her from a distance. As I moved closer to her, I reached for her cheeks, and she smiled. That smile could light up a room. It brought me to tears. And no, I don’t cry that easily. I sat by her and held her hands as we played a silent ‘pick a hand’ game. When it was time to leave, I had a group hug with the others and then I approached her and before I could, she lifted her arms as far as she could to initiate her goodbye hug and I gave her an embrace. I wished I could imprint in her heart with that hug that she was beautiful, loved and perfect in Gods eyes. I thank God for the opportunity.

Miracle reminded me love is louder in actions than spoken words. We spoke so much without a word. I left that home feeling like she spoke to me, like she was saying; Ty, you have ears that hear, a mouth that can speak and legs that can walk; so you have no excuse not to be all that you can be. So I am reminded to say ‘I love you’ in words and in deeds to those who mean the world to me, because the fact that I can say it, is a miracle. I could choose to dwell on the things that aren’t going right or make the best of what is and work hard and aspire for much more. The fact that I have life is a miracle. Love is a language that the blind can see and the deaf can hear. Show some love today, because you can, because life is miracle.

To the ones who envision and build these homes, nurture the orphaned and abandoned, give their time, money and life to putting a smile on their faces, you are super heroes. God will honour you exceedingly.


Friday, October 30, 2015


ME: God, I have a few things I need to speak to you about. Lately, you just feel so far. Allowing me go through so much on my own.
GOD: hmmmmmm
ME: My life is crazy, I look in the mirror and all I see are pieces of me, like a tale told by different narrators. I feel torn apart. And you say hmmmmm?
GOD: What will you rather I said?
ME: That I will be fine! That you will fix me! That I am worth more than I feel! That my life will count…..you feel me?
GOD: Feel you? I made you! I have said all those to you already and much more. When last did you take a look at my words to you? My attempt to remind you is silenced by your self-doubt and the falsehood of what you call reality. I foresaw your pain and I made provision in advance.
ME: Why is it so hard then?
GOD: Well that’s because that’s all you are looking at, so that’s all you can see.
ME: easy for you to say, am the one who feels the shame, fear, guilt, hurt and emptiness. You just stay there being almighty and perfect.
GOD: I am the touch of perfection you need to cover the shame, silence the fears, absolve the guilt, heal the hurt and refill you…. To tell you the truth, when I look at you, I see something perfect, I wish you could see you through my eyes…..if only you would.
ME: Hmmmm. I really want to believe all you are saying, but I feel trapped…somewhere between Calvary and Pentecost…..like I know so much, yet it amounts to nothing.
GOD: I know that feeling. Revival beckons my child…..

Tuesday, November 18, 2014


I was told to ride on a bicycle, I needed to be guided, yet there was no one to teach me. I was told even the best riders had to fall and be injured many times to perfect the art. Every day I stood before it, walked by it, dragged along on it, picturing myself riding it but too afraid to suspend my feet and dare to truly ride……Plus it wasn’t even my bike!

I will sleep off many nights and dream of cycling with friends. Days passed….and one of those days I took the bicycle; today was different, my visit was going to be over by the next two days and I was yet to ride the first bicycle I had close access to. Full of thoughts and mixed feelings, it occurred to me I had just ridden on it for 30 seconds without realising and the moment I realised, the fears came flooding in and then I fell, it was a bad fall with a good lesson. The very next day, I had a choice to never ride again for fear of falling again, or ride till I never fell again…..I chose the latter and I never fell again.

What if they laugh at me? What if he breaks my heart? I am not brilliant, assuming I fail? What if she falls,what if he is hurt? If I were rich I will have helped the needy, If only I were taller I’ll have made a great model. If I were shorter I will have found the right man. If I were less busy I will serve God more. I can’t wear that pretty outfit I will be too noticeable. We cannot win; we are outnumbered. We have done this before it will likely fail again. If I were richer or born with a silver spoon.If I had been raised properly. If only I could dance, sing, talk confidently. I am afraid I will be unable to do it, I am an introvert, she is rich I can’t be with a girl like her. He is so good looking, what if he doesn’t want a girl like me?

The list is endless, that inner voice that screams ‘you cannot’, ‘what ifs’, ‘you shouldn’t’, ‘you are not fit’,‘not good enough’, ‘not groomed enough’, ‘not rich enough’ and the voices around that confirm the very things we dread. If asked we’d say ‘I am not afraid, I am only cautious or simply a realist….. In the end fear is what it is…..FEAR.

We all express it through the toughest means and at other times in the mildest moments. Whether in panic/fright,traditions/rituals, pessimism/suspicion, anxiety/worry, comfort/security,criticism/blame, concern/trepidation, cautiousness/restraint,excuses/justifications, dismay/depression…

They often say life I short, I dare say it is shorter than short! The many facets of fear shorten the days and double the concerns. To live is to dare death that in itself is courage! To live is to do the very things that the dead cannot do. To live is to go past dreaming and live the dreams. To live is to fear-LESS, because in the end we are very small, vulnerable, and weak but we have a God who is bigger than we picture, stronger than we imagine, more involved in our existence than we allow ourselves to believe and He is the one who has given the power to BE! So I will be what He says I’d be!

By the way, I eventually got my own bicycle and along with it the realisation that there was no such thing as……IMPOSSIBLE with God!

Toyin Seth-Ogungbe'

Thursday, April 3, 2014

An Open Letter To The Girl I Was

So I got this idea off a piece I read, I thought it may just be therapeutic. So it got me thinking, if I had a chance to sit before the girl I was, what will I tell her? So I decided to write her this letter...

Dear Oluwatoyin,
I have many things to tell you. For starters, I am known as TeeWai this days, I bet you didn’t see that one coming. I hope you think it’s cute?

Recently, on my bbm (that is a telephone device that connects me to all my valued friends), I asked if they felt you will be proud of the woman I have become, I got a lot of feedback from loved ones. Many people actually affirmed that you will be and they reminded me many reasons why. So I will gist you about a few.

Let me first say that half the things you feared never happened. Plus, the society has changed, most things you held dear are now termed 'old school'. Your best dress is laughable this days or at best referred to as 'vintage'. So, back to your fears... you know how you hate heights, always felt like you will slip down or fall off? Well, I look down heights confidently this days and have lost that fear or the most of it at least. In many other ways I must admit, I am not half as bold and confident as you were on many other issues. I still have a big mouth though…me and my big mouth!

The things that will surprise you; I don't sing like really sing anymore, I wouldn't even let anyone sitting beside me hear my voice. I am sorry, I know how much that meant to you and how much you planned to ensure the world heard your message through music. You can be rest assured I haven't lost the passion for listening to good music though. I discovered writing, it became my escape, my passion, my therapy and that too these days I rarely do. Don't feel bad just yet, I found some other things you never thought you were capable of. An example; drama. I use all the tools you developed performing for a one man audience (plus all your imaginary characters included...lol). Also, I got married earlier than you envisaged. I have a little you, only she is prettier (I know you’ll smile). When I look at her, I see your eyes, your wit, compassion and trust in the world around you, tomboyish tendencies...she has them all plus 'jara'.

Habits that have not changed; I can arrange for the globe! Don’t get me started on how I see things to organize and place properly everywhere I turn. Of course I still make faces in front of the mirror. Craving parboiled rice is still a norm, I just stop myself from eating it. I still hate fish just as you do, but I have greatly improved on feeding (still slim o! laughs)

Honestly, I have failed you more times than I'll have loved to, but I have also made you proud, done things you feared...I did them afraid. Having been through the toughest situations that I know you never could have imagined, I am still standing. The details are gist for another day.

My faith; that too I stumble, walk, crawl, run, crawl, I make sure not to stop trusting and believing in the God who makes this crazy world make sense to me. I know you were never a fan of fairy tales, same here! But I manage to walk people around me through the realistic happy endings.

My resolve; some of those dreams you had I am yet to live up to. Please give me time, I intend to at least make an effort. Also to remember to take care of me, be mindful of you, knowing that I owe it to us to die empty having done all possible to make a difference. I intend to set in motion a chain of change, change that will outlive you and I. Lastly and very importantly, I love you, I should say that more often.

From the woman you have become.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The Sanity in Folly

There used to be a time when I will get into frantic arguments choosing to see the light at the end of the tunnel, other times I sought and created justification for the mindless corruption that we wallow in. Other times I cry, in my heart at least and pray for change as farfetched as it appears. I have gone past weeping; because I have my realities staring me in the face after I wipe the tears.
The pain is not new, it’s just all too familiar and never goes away, that used to unnerve me; these days I am just numb. I read the headlines and ignore the content because it is yet another celebration of corruption or an open show of man’s inhumanity to man.

How can optimal electricity, education, health, mean so little and mindless feuds and ambition for more power in the midst of power for a time that you are yet to ascertain you will live to see mean more? How can any one person have the power to make change and choose the cowardice of chasing shadows and running in circles over actually getting the job done? How can we fix the problem when the decadence is perpetuated by all who hold even a second of power from the least to the greatest? How can one man wake up at 4am to earn a meagre income he spends on going to the same job where it is earned while another sits on so much wealth with influence and is untouched by the labourer and his labour feigning ignorance?

The places of worship used to be the place we got a sense of belonging and touched a glimpse of peace. Nowadays men of God represent different things to different people. Many flee and never look back; seeking answers beyond the border believing enslavement in a foreign land is far more honourable than slavery in one’s home. I don't dare judge as there is not much to come back to.

In all of this I realise I may choose to be different and may never get awarded or even noticed, yet I consciously make that choice every day. Why? You may ask. Pretty simple, I desire to remind those to come that in all the choking filth and debauchery that I carved a niche for myself; I chose the path of hard work and reward and every luxury I have, I earned. I want them to know I had no magic wand to wish it all away; I refused to be a part of the problem either. Neither shortening my life span worrying about the things I have no power to change. Instead, I recognise the sovereignty of the one thing that reveals our humanity; the uncertainty of tomorrow. So I wine and dine with God who sits over and knows it all. There! At that very point I finally feel it, the peace in the chaos, and the sanity in folly.....yes closure.

Toyin Seth-Ogungbemi(nee Makun)

Tuesday, February 26, 2013


The first time I read this phrase was in Joyce Meyer's book several years back, in fact that was what drew my attention to the book. Recently, Betty Irabor's Genevieve magazine cover page brought the words back to mind as the quote from her interview reads 'the trick is to do it afraid'. It got me thinking, and interestingly my thoughts ended up in the labour room. Everything about that day felt different as I had carried my baby to term, for me I could not wait to be relieved of the weight of my huge stomach on my small frame.
No book, birth stories, accounts or advices quite captured the 30 minutes in that labour room that day. Somewhere between her head and her shoulders I went blank, I drifted into my past and saw flashes of the things I had feared, my first major exams, responsibilities I had to live up to that no one had prepared me for, the feeling of lack one to many times, first job interview, first love gone wrong, my walk down the aisle, I could go on and on. then it dawned on me as my dear man tapped me to bring me back to reality, that I was afraid, very afraid to see this through, be there for her, raise a sane child amidst the insanity, teach her faith, be her model of everything that is right with the world. With very little strength left, so little I feared I may not pull through, a very parched throat, the mixed feelings on the face of husband dearest, the aches on my body in more places than I cared to count; I pushed, so hard I could not believe I had it in me, and that was it!
I saw her upside down at first, next I heard her cry and as she was placed in my arms, I felt like God himself handed me a gold medal, so heroic was the feeling I had that day! Many months later, I look back and I realise it was just another phase I had gone through and the fear along with it. So, my honest little piece is this, God gives us faith to quench every fear. Regardless, we get scared many times and we find we just can't shake it off. The simple secret is to 'do it afraid'. It's either going to work or not, but you'll never know if you choose not to try at all. Plus, faith in itself is going through with the things that scare us knowing someone bigger, divinely infinite has our back and will pick us up where our humanity falls short.
So I have this one life, rather than let fear cripple my every venture while still at the birthing stage, I will go right ahead and see it through, if it feels like the right thing to do. For instance, I have had this write up in my head for 25 days and I wondered, what if it's not well received? I am clicking publish on this one today for as many as are interested to see, read and no matter the reception, I am glad I wrote it anyway. So I dare say, DO IT AFRAID! Please share your 'Do it afraid' stories, you never know who it might make a difference to. Thanks

26 February, 2013.

Monday, July 2, 2012

An Open Letter To My Father

So much has happened recently and I found myself in a place I have not been in a long time; short of words and almost blank. Time and time again I tried to write out my pain, but I couldn’t find the right words. Then I saw this movie “Letters to God” and then it dawned on me what I could do to feel better. So here is my open letter to my Father, the one who sees the finish from the onset.

Dear Pa, It’s crazy around me, and sometimes I wonder how I don’t lose my mind. Yea that must be because of the awesome family you gave me and the way the world looks right through the eyes of my baby.
So much tragedy befell my nation and lives, too many have been lost, between the sect who kill for a living, the road accident, the ill-fated plane and the innocent people whose homes were run into by the plane. I can’t stop thinking about the confusion and fear that must have gone on in the plane the last few seconds before the crash, how many were asleep in their homes and they became history in a split second. Or the innocent people who dressed for their place of worship as is their custom every Sunday, unaware it will be their last as they will die painful deaths for a fight they are totally clueless of. How many have been orphaned this year, widowed, left childless. Where do we go from here Pa, where? I am a taxpayer, I pay a ridiculous amount as rent, yet I virtually swim to work (exaggeration) becuse the roads are flooded from the rains, and the water has found its way to the many potholes, that can fit in over a hundred pots. Then yet another greets me as I approach my workplace. Where do we go from here Pa?
Crazy huh? Children are abused everyday and there is no one to fight their cause. Family hush them so they won’t be mocked, the kids suffer in silence and grow up scarred adults most often reliving their ordeal by abusing another. Parents too busy chasing dreams to notice the hurt and scars on their babies. Government too busy…… (fill in the gap) to notice where the shoe really hurts its people. The pulpit has traded the truth of your word for the vanities of life to gain popularity. Things we used to know are as sane are now treated as insane. Borrowed culture is taking over our mode of speech, style, and traditional values.
Children, the future we hope in are totally oblivious of the values that brought us this far. It appears there is no one to remind us and the next generation of how it used to be, better still, how it was meant to be. A wise man told me never to lose hope, no matter what else I have lost. So I put together whatever hope I have left in the fact that you are the potter, and you won’t let your people go through more than they can bear. It’s too much, the insanity is everywhere, and we perpetuate it without even realizing. Again I ask where we go from here?
Thanks for being at the listening end, thank you.

Thursday, May 10, 2012


I can’t say for certain if she knew what was at stake, if she had taken time to think her action through. all i recall is she smiled and the smile lit up her face. She screamed so loud i could barely hear myself speak and before I could say another word to shut her up or calm her down. She did it, taken aback and a little scared i ran as fast as i could just so I could get a hold of her arms. Could not help noticing the smile did not leave her face, I was shaken up, a little sore in my feet, quite unlike my cute one year old. She was beaming with the spark of victory in her eyes. She had taken a leap from the high bed into mummy's arms and she was oblivious of the fact that mummy nearly missed catching her. But her faith in me was blind to reason, she’s a one year old, what do you expect? Managing to smile back; even though still shaken by the fear that went through my mind. Could not stop wondering in my heart, "what if I had missed her? It got me thinking, my master knew what He was saying, when He said the kingdom was for such as the children. I wake up every day trying to fix things beyond me, worry about unfulfilled dreams, unaccomplished goals, frustrated when I don’t measure up to the standard.... who sets the standards anyway? Several times I have heard the lines 'let go and let God', I have even spoken them out to encourage others, I sing 'Jesus take the wheels' and I claim to cast my cares on him. So I woke up one morning and I remembered the leap of my one year old daughter, the honesty, trust and fearlessness it came with, and I realised, even in my humanity, I did not dare fail her. How much more... It’s practically tough at first, but which each day it gets easier, I leap on his back to carry me when am weak, his word to silence the voices of fear in my head, his arms to help me find rest in the chaotic reality of my society. Now when i smile it reaches my eyes, not because everything is as I want it to be, but because i have learnt gratitude for the things that are and I am more convinced than ever that ALL(good, bad, ugly) things, every lil, tiny detail will work together for my good. Let’s go a-leaping!

10TH MAY, 2012

Thursday, February 16, 2012


Sometimes i find myself staring at an open page for hours, joggling the words in my head and dreading the critical eyes and minds of my readers.
So i take my eyes off the page and go about the day's activities, silencing the words as the play out in my head.
At the close of the day, i realise i cant fool myself. For I had carried my blank page in my head all day long.
So i find that no matter how far from it i go, i keep coming back to my open page.
Feels like i was born to do this.
So i write, the fears not withstanding.
Like an addict, I just can't stay away.

Monday, October 17, 2011


For years I had watched my mum do it. You may be wondering what 'it' is, yea she always took off the hot pot of soup with her bare hands. As a child at the time i thought it was heroic. Whenever i saw anyone use a cloth to bring down the pot of soup, i will ridicule them in my mind.

Finally the day came that it was my turn. I could not wait to be like mum, so when i was offered a cloth to help protect my tiny hands from the heat of the steel pot i declined. With enthusiasm, I reached for the handle of the pot and my eyes turned red as the heat from it ran to my head. oh how it hurt me! i quickly opted for the cloth and from that time on stuck with the cloth.

One day, mum left the soup in my care and i got carried away with other things, as I approached the kitchen I realized the soup had over cooked and was pouring into the fire. In my confusion I rushed for the pot and turned off the fire. it took a while for me to realize I had just dropped the pot with my bare hands and it did not peel my skin or hurt me like the first day,

These days, I watch as the young ones around me admire me when i drop my pot of soup with my hands without even thinking about it. It comes naturally. what changed really? the pot is definitely as hot as the first day I tried it.
Truth is we limit ourselves in many ways. It really doesn't have to be easy the first time, the second or ever. Someone once told me 'life gives you what you demand, not what you deserve'. I now dare a lot of hot pot situations and challenges i meet daily, i dont hide behind a cloth to keep me from the heat. The many 'what ifs' still show up. But i go right ahead anyway. for instance, I thought this piece will not make sense, but am writing it and making it public anyway.lol. There is no stopping me! welcome on board.



So I was thinking and this was where my thought led me.
Dashing, spontaneous, daring, ambitious and loving, these are just a few of the many qualities Mark was till we got married. The uniform made him so dashing; I can’t wait to walk down the aisle. 10 years after, Mark is fortunate to have made it home after the war. But he is not my Mark anymore o! It must have been a traumatic experience there, because he barely eats, he is withdrawn and cold. He has nightmares each night, and barely talks to me at all.
Sonia was everything I could have wished for physically. The moment I set my eyes on her, I knew she was my wife. She was gorgeous, voluptuous figure, tall, well rounded in my ‘key’ areas (winks). The day we said ‘i do’ my joy knew no bounds. She was mine for life...waoh! A few years into our marriage we were the ‘It’ couple and i was always glad to show off my sweet trophy wife. Then one day everything changes, she is diagnosed and a cancerous growth is found, next thing all her hair is shaved, she’s losing both breasts. Barely eating and depressed, she is not my Sonia anymore. She looks like the shadow of herself more by the day.
These are two instances of many things that could go wrong in marriages. It could be delay in childbirth in some cases. The man could lose his memory after an accident or his leg. A stroke can occur..... The list goes on. I know you are saying God forbid, I say amen. But I also know there are many realities we never consider before the vow. Are you getting married because of... and... and... What if those reasons fail along the marriage? Will you still want to be with each other? Ironic as it sounds when you ask, “why do you love me” and he says “i don’t know”. Never take offence, that may just be a good place to be, when you have stopped knowing, but you just know ‘he is the one’......then by all means run down the aisle and be sure no matter what life throws at you...you are not alone.
If he loses his feet, you will be his leg. If she loses her voice, you will speak for her, when her memory fails her you will gladly wake up every day and remind her who she is and who you are and not wear out. If the babies are not coming as you dreamed, you will wait with her and when he loses his job you will carry the burden of the family without nagging. If he is losing faith you will pray him back to the path of righteousness. No matter what, no matter what...you will be there!
Just my thoughts my friends, I felt to share. I stand to be corrected; after all we are all still learning (smiles).

Monday, August 1, 2011


I have had to do this run many times, because that's what I do. For some reason today felt different as I bowed my right knee, while sizing up the distance to the finish line, I awaited the whistle.
At the sound of the whistle I ran with everything in me, I thought of the drills, wounds, aches and the strain that had got me to this place. I could see the faces of those who couldn’t wait to see me fail, the indifference of some onlookers and the loving smiles of my loved ones as they cheered me on, but much more I realised I had stopped seeing the other competitors, it was just me. Something in me wanted to break into an early celebration as I figured I had outran all the others. But the words of my coach rang loud in my ears, “learn to run past the finish line”. To the amazement of many I doubled my steps, and then it happened.
It was unexpected, but I slipped and fell face down. Mixed feelings gripped me as I wondered how many I will have to contend with. How many had gone past me and how i will catch up if I stood up and tried again, then it occurred to me I was really hurting. I contemplated giving up, but right before me was the finish line and I ventured again, for I thought,” my pain must amount for something”. Not bothering to look over my shoulder, I began again and this time I was driven by more. I ran with passion, for the love of the art, for victory; even much more, for my pain.
I noticed everyone cheering but I did not bother to know why, as i just kept running. Stop! Stop! They cried out. Wondering why everyone looked awed and fearing I had broken some rules, worst still that I had lost. Everyone began to applaud me and I watched my loved ones victory dance and even my rivals looked at me with respect. For the first time it dawned on me I had won.
Curious, the man to robe me asked why I kept running even when i had reached and past the finished line. Smiling, I realised the reason everyone looked intrigued after all. I answered in all honesty, “I was told by the best that winning begins at the finish line”

Tuesday, January 25, 2011


I am a female, but that's not all, I am a lady as well: not just that, but a Diva.

Have i been abused? Assaulted? humiliated?

Ever cried myself to sleep and woke up in the pool of my tears?

Looked in the mirror and all i could see was a broken and wounded person?

Had my childhood robbed off me before i learned to make a sentence?

Trusted the wrong man and shamefully loved even my abuser?

Searched for someone to love me enough, hoping i can learn to love myself thereby?

Hardened myself so i could fit into the "man's world", now no one can touch my heart?

Dragged others down, settled for cheap gossip; thinking i can find fulfillment by bringing another down?

Fanned the flames of lost love, struggling to reawaken it?

Embracing feminism fanatically to see if been more manly was the answer?

Carrying a baby in my womb; am just a grown baby myself?

Cheated on so much, i have a low esteem and always fell like "second best"?

Lied to time and again, yet i kept believing, wishing it was true, even when i feared otherwise?

Traded my innocence for a few minutes to boost a lovers ego?

Angered and bitter, with only one thing on my mind.... Revenge?

Are we hurt? bitter?..... we may be many things, but we refuse to remain that way...victims

So here i am sitting in my parlor, raising my glass to every lady who in spite of all still has her diva swag, poised and confident, classy yet domestic,hides in the shelter of her maker, fueled by her convictions, celebrates her femininity, accepts her weaknesses without being weak, burnt like a coal, yet blossoming into a jewel daily, whole without a man, and when she has a man, she completes him; virtuous even though not perfect, stays a dreamer amidst the failures, refuses to be defined by her past.

Looking in the mirror each day, she sees the scars, but forgives the abusers, holds her head up high and still call herself a DIVA(Divine).

Here is to the ladies like me who are still standing in spite of all. With God, nothing do us! Mwaaah!

A tip to the men that truly love their ladies, try and "know" the girl child your woman was, you ' ll be surprised what you will find!



25TH JAN, 2011.